\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace, seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional, Workplace ethical dilemma: an employee threatens to take their grievances to the media, Employee who refused a drug test at work loses unfair dismissal case, An HR guide to writing a termination letter. What starts as a simple chat can manifest into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. But on the other hand, Jack mightn't have lost his temper and his presentation would have gone more smoothly. Try to see the value in the over-corrector employee, perhaps their goal is to better the company, providing them with feedback that demonstrates you appreciate their desire to constantly do better, but prefer it to be done differently. Subscribe to our daily or weekly email for news and analysis that will get you thinking in the morning. 8. I don't like that my relationship with Jack has suffered. If you win a game, you can say, "You win some, you lose some" instead of gloating. During one-on-one with Jane MANAGER: When you interrupted Jack during his presentation, how did that affect his presentation? People have a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. It is important to respond in a non-emotional, neutral, matter-of-fact way. (The Truth), Empaths In Relationships: 15 Tips For Happy And Healthy Love, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. But at this point the formula is pretty easy to spot, and often the praise on either side of the critique-the real point of feedback, typically-can feel forced. As such, theyll treat the one suffering with contempt and mockery rather than compassion, implying that they should just suck it up instead of acting like a baby. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Furthermore, theyll assume that if you look or behave a certain way (i.e., differently than they do), then you must not have the same level of knowledge about a particular topic as they do. Manage Settings They may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with strangers. It can include not listening to someone who is trying to talk to you, not respecting someone's personal space, not taking someone's feelings into account, speaking in a condescending or belittling manner, or not offering someone the same respect that you show to others. So when someone tells a woman to "Take it easy," she'll likely feel like that person is saying she's "over the top" or "dramatic." Examples of condescending behavior: Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. This article has been viewed 32,305 times. Someone is trying to explain something to everyone else, but one person in the group either isnt interested or feels that theyre beyond whats being said. If someone says that a suggestion you have is actually a good idea, then theyre implying that everything you usually say is not. Don't just listen, but actively listen to what the person is saying. Well, many of those people have chosen an area or subject to immerse themselves in and use this expertise as a mark of superiority. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. You can also help to avoid it by fostering an environment that discourages gossip, making jokes about coworkers, etc. Behavior #2: Gossip. The most effective tool for dealing with condescending employees is calling out their behavior if you see it. It's up to you whether you want to apologize to Jack, but it sounds like an apology would help smooth things over with him. I don't think it was right for Jack to spread false information. When you make broad generalizations about someone else's behavior, that's a condescending way to make them feel judged and misunderstood. Men might get this sort of response on occasion, but it happens a lot to women. It's true that in the repertoire of touching methods, "patting" acquaintances is a better option than "stroking," "smacking" or "pinching," and there are certain scenarios in which patting someone on the back or shoulder is entirely acceptable. Lead by example. 28 September 2021. https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/07/03/how-to-deal-with-a-condescending-boss/?sh=8852f61523f3, https://hbr.org/2018/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-boss, https://hbr.org/2014/12/the-right-way-to-bring-a-problem-to-your-boss, https://www.growthbusiness.co.uk/6-ways-counter-condescending-boss-2548689/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201802/dealing-difficult-boss, https://www.fastcompany.com/40411173/how-to-handle-your-bosss-condescension. One suggestion made to an online forum was to ask the offender to repeat themselves over and again. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. We use cookies to personalise content, provide social media features, and analyse traffic. This is an ancient and highly transparent method for communicating superiority from a condescending coworker. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. Generally, the response will go along the lines of: Id love to explain this to you, but Id likely have to use really small words in order for you to understand me. Others are likely to find this behavior condescending and a bit pathetic. This minimizes her experience and casts her response as petty. But if you feel the mistake was glaring enough that not correcting it would be like letting someone walk around with a giant shred of kale in their teeth (like, perhaps they're mispronouncing the name of a client), it's best to wait until they've finished their thought entirely. Originally published Effectively addressing the behavior and providing regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and productive workplace for all. I sued the last HR staffer that didnt know her place. True comment, they get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement. Those odds aren't probably worth going up against. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. 9. JANE: Sounds like a good plan. In order to undermine another person or try to make them feel small, someone might call them a pet name such as sweetheart, sugar, darling, cupcake, sweetie, and so on. Nothing you do is acceptable, and you may lose yourself in pleasing them. Not only is it demeaning, its frustrating and even dehumanizing. You're not saving lives here. Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. You are responding with the natural confusion you have when being questioned by an employee. To whoever you're speaking to, the implicit message is, 'I know important people, ergo I'm important.' So the chummy nicknames most people find condescending end up being pretty exclusionary, too. Yesterday, 6:50 am. As an example, when my partner was working in a bookstore in her early twenties, a customer asked her if she could help them find a particular book. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"