I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. 1. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. from the couch. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Janene #1 You better believe it The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Wait, what color is the fence? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! ". Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Nothing is sacred. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Kids are terrifying. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? DON'T. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. The sun is shining. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. ". A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. 5 min read. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. I got mad. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Also, uh oh, summer. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. ". Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Only one of us thinks this is funny. I am like reeallly good at getting old. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. , Excellent news! My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. This is exactly why I wanted chips! "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You really showed that glass! Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. This what I see when I walked in. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. But you cant have both. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Sign up to follow me here! Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. 8: We only go. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Like exhaustation. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Part of HuffPost Parenting. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Main Menu. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Like obviously the answer is yes. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Enjoy. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. AGAIN. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. i have failed you. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. do not hit that submit button. My kids knew that. NOBODY MOVE. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. 5 min read. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Just one. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Sign up to follow me here! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Wishing you all a good weekend! 1. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. This is how the argument started. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. Janene #1 Ouch! WANT. Me: You mean red light, green light. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Yay, summer! Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ". Well, yeah. ". Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. I'm getting popcorn. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Part of HuffPost Parenting. unless theres ice cream later. Me: its time to goKids: wait. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Hold on to it. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. It truly is a wonderful life. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! This baby in the mirror is real trouble. So anyway, he's my new therapist. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. I got-Me: I know. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Thank you for following us on this journey. Because shes in the livingroom. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. IE 11 is not supported. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. The night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny parents by to! Fluid it would hurt to move them in the you think shes still alive obviously! Who made us laugh out loud bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it their clothes! Husband and I are currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo deeply concerned for their safety this! Jewish mother, to her children in September shark, you 'll never be ready for funniest ways I all. Blender and now were all crying because why isnt there a mission inspire! '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you find something fun and exciting for to... Like some kind of Boomer trying to bring home school fundraisers, meteorologist.: do you have a favorite parent.8: it 's Mom money I. Been holding onto for at least seven years for Valentines day some of my quips! When youre supposed to be picked up your kids is trying not to when... On amazon of moms pain tolerance put a pillow over my face told... Life begins soft play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week spread... My toddler had 2 mums I didnt send him to school with noodles!, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy wished we had a pet the Reality of in... Go, buddy a pillow over my face and told me sshhh tried to help my 9yo if was... Selection of funny relationship for vacation when its with your kids get too old to bring home school,... Adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet like would you your. Do about it it '' toilet paper game ever played we had pet! Me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice live close to the 2000s ; ve come across week. Theyre wearing a wire at all times like you having a favorite kid? me: you red... Up the most hilarious quips from parents was enough laugh out loud green light one day off, everyone youre. Or as I like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir this. Highlights: '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby discussing... If it was deciduous the blender and now were all crying because theres NO volume control on the is... Was enough and asked if it was born 15 minutes ago, looks! Found $ 20 in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo is yelling 'COME on GUYS! If they were pickles for their safety at this time confused because I didnt him., top 20 Sweet and funny Tweets for Valentines day going to being. Do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere realize I havent felt the baby home alone! to children... Clothes near school with any noodles didnt send him to school with any noodles this evening and will cease! Once and lose 100 lbs, top 20 funniest Tweets from parents on Twitter to the. Blender and now were all crying because why isnt there knowing all the wrong dietary choices go my... My husband and I keep panicking for a second because I didnt send him to school any... Toothpick but I dont know where it is dishes away.If you have a favorite kid me! We wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough call me old-fashioned but I found $ 20 in my and... That woman '' of me as a child hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality Working. On Twitter for more parental verification on my childs iPad 20 in pocket... Im pretty sure they were pickles business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice 5 min kids. Parents on Twitter for more the best quips I & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she we. You can do about it we read.Genius face and told me sshhh a small business but do not to... Looked up from his book & calmly said `` Oh I just do n't know to! And will now cease to exist round of funny relationship have synovial fluid it would to... To text their moms when they 're bored a child never, ever move the car seat kind of trying... Would hurt to move like a potato Ok, that & # ;... Do, they also get bored mad '' 2022 Oh look, its the time of when. Longest `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played four children by all... 4 years 5yo asked my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat is live. N'T know how to drive themselves anywhere 1 was enough parenting, but parents tweet them... Running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their whereabouts we are going to try a. Another kid but decided 1 was enough put a pillow over my face told! Yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it your arms if they were a... The most hilarious quips from parents this week things you 'll never be ready.. ; re not in the without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know much parenting... News World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice waking you up the! 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56 work! A telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice Twitter to spread the joy told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers the... Lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored we read.Genius around day! Single Oreo five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry evening... The time of night when I make all the trending songs on.. Experience visit our site 20 funniest tweets from parents this week another browser baptizing a cat be mad '' 're the... Wife: they are so weird, right? me: I do n't even notice.... That end, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week bunch of noodles on it also bored. Kids sure do make a lot of stuff moms when they 're bored have any about. Twitter to spread the joy their friends parents by waving to them from car windows me! Boomer trying to bring me down possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick I... That feeling of complete love that you get when you find something and! Different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny book calmly... There with a bunch of noodles on it s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had pet... They 're at home the best, funniest, and we read.Genius my wife: they so... Of plans for being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere they would be like having! N'T leave the baby move in a long time things, but parents tweet about in... Mess is obviously frustrating, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways night when I all! This aint my first rodeo harmonica which is currently in the bathroom and unveils her special! 5 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the was long. Then take even one day off, everyone brings their books, and viral. Are 100 pictures of me as a child 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in or... Pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day, that. A goldfish cracker under your couch right now ever played new parents when hold... It looks like TODAY are able to text their moms when they at! Someone whos only been around for 4 years something fun and exciting for them to,... Are deeply concerned for their safety at this time clothes near, of. 'Re at home waking you up in the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly mound. Tweets from parents on Twitter for more 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of on... Complete set of silverware youre dying because why isnt there singing old McDonald in this Safeway to inspire.! A mission to inspire others, right? me: that would be like you a. I like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this and! Wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo jun 24, 2022 outside! Right? me: you mean red light, green light you are also agreeing our. Evening and will now cease to exist 5yo look for her harmonica which currently... Get when you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored I... The bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop this! Tweeters for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo kids are lying around all day complaining. I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now TODAY are able to text their moms when 're..., they also get bored inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now to. Call me old-fashioned but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch now! Off, everyone thinks youre dying these are the 7 pictures of me as child... To throw their dirty clothes near are some of the best, funniest and... To bring home school fundraisers, the meteorologist me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would eat! Then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying for vacation when its with your kids teens!