You never know. The more we avoid words that make some people feel attacked (though I myself have been guilty of it), the better we can move the discussion in the right direction. I guess in the perfect society women and men would be equals, history aside. I would suggest understanding what trust, love, respect, communication, and support actually mean and how they function. Settle down with what she can. Why is that so conveniently forgotten? If so, thats not love. Dont say something here different from what u will o. I think men and women should be judged the same. Reframe all of it into something that is actually constructive and supportive. If she's interested, there's clearly no problems from her end. Hello Stephen I think we should all face reality A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation.. The higher sexual partners has a correlation but I do not believe it is truly the cause. Upon my first penetration with her, i could still tell that she was experienced just from the sheer mechanics of her vagina. N get money. https://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/all/1/ for college educated women who marry after the age of 25 and have established an independent source of income, the divorce rate is only 20 percent! or nope that guys never gonna get in me, but ill play him and take his money till something better comes along tho.why not ey ?? One of the things you notice is that seperate from the incels and terpers is a demographic of dudes who could get casual sex or FWB's but don't want them. early whether you are worth an investment (remember the biological urge I try to be very understanding and never judge anyone one because of their past. embarrassing. I dont think u r being objective. Thats a load of crap! considerations including self-worth, that daddy used to go on long Because I love him too much to have him leave me over my past like those other men have. Im always honest with him about everything but this is the one thing Im taking to the grave. Promiscuous men are notoriously psychopathic, selfish, and extremely narcissistic with a lot of emotional baggage. Hes not stating that women are divorcing because they cheat. I am just as human as the next person and want to be treated as such. Animals in nature **** and get the hell on and have never had a problem I dont know why humans try to put themselves so high on the food chain of nature. Ive seen friends go through 4+ relationships in a year. many people feel and learn otherwise. that doesnt mean that they should deny themselves regular sex of a relationship and it doesnt make them sl*ts or *ssh*les but at least there confident and enjoy themselves. idk how to both handle my parents and be safe around them. the women do to. The Beginning and the End. I have recently become single after a twelve year marriage and it hard enough to find someone compatible in thinking,loyalty,honesty, etc, to worry about their past. I sometimes dream about it, feel sad etc. Means mentally you are stronger. She might have sexual preferences or desires that she has been too afraid to bring up in conversation. up a****le (Jerkwhatever feels right at the time. Also, as far as men losing their home, assets, and children, the flip side of double standards is that it ends up being the mothers responsibility to care for their children and because women either didnt make the same amount during the marriage or she was a stay at home Mom, the assets built during the marriage end up being awarded to her. Then I sincerely hope that you school these same alpha men to not share their masculinity so freely with any slut that crosses their path and opens their legs. I sure don't. Best recognize! Fortunately for me he had an affair Shes going to be somebodys wife or girlfriend, because he values her more than his immature philosophy. If she is everything you would want a woman to be and currently shares your same values. umm doing your kegels will fix that and also not true unless the promiscuous lady in question is having babies left and right. The First and the Last. How many partners youve had should definitely speak for your character. This isnt about telling women it is good or ok to have a lot of sex partners. That's what these things do. Most often it takes more than two relationships to find your life partner. Where do your moral codes and values rate when it comes to men having a promiscuous lifestyle? But it will be in the back of your mind. Thank you very much. No man grows up saying, I cant wait to find a nice slut to settle down and build a family with!!. They just never found out. Because they are unable to control their own desires, delayed gratification is a component of intelligence and success. Please have a successful relationship before you consider children. If she is a changed woman then she should present who she is and keep who she was to her damn self because IT DOES AND WILL ALWAYS MATTER when exposed. All the pain caused by others will really be dumped on to her life long partner. In addition, it is this same attitude that gets these alpha men in trouble because they end up holding women to a pedestal that she could never maintain nor would any self respecting woman try to. Hes trying to get me to be faithful. You could be killing yourselves with every partner you take. Clap , Clap , Clap.. Remember, "your feelings" are usually a "you" issue, but some are also cultural and environmental. You can believe what you wish, and if this works for you my friend then by all means continue as you are. /Especially/ when choosing a mate. If I feel an aversion to a female who is interested in me bc I know she has slept around, its totally UP TO ME if I want to give her a chance at all. He is the ALPHA and the OMEGA. She had never been sexually active and would only have sex if it was in a relationship with a man she loved. I too have hurt my partner many times with my venting. On March 12, 2003, 15-year-old Elizabeth Smart was found safe nine months after being abducted from her family's home in Salt Lake City, Utah. Trust me, there are men married to or in a relationship with women they think has had very few sex partners, when in reality the numbers are much higher than he will ever know. Sometimes some of the same issues that are hurting that marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the first place. to pass on genes in males). So, I think it is a bad idea to encourage women to be promiscuous and to encourage men to date these women. As for a woman leading you on to believe she passed that stage, well she may just not have wanted to let you pass her by even though she knows she wasnt ready. if you're concerned about self-destructive behavior, you need to actually understand what that is and isn't before you start judging people. And yeah I'm definitely better than any of the other guys I've heard she's been with. (SN: The fact that someone would disclose embarrassing details about their past actually reveals that they have a sense of respect.). Yall remember the movie House Party.when Bernie Mac remembered ole boys wife at the dinner table.smh They use to call you jawbones.lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaao nahhhh.Ill pass on all that. This is such a typical question. It doesnt matter where Ive worked, or what my experience is, or how successful I have been at what Ive done. Shadow Hunter-Is a depressed life worth living. You have married couples who though they love each other, they do not fully know, understand, and embraced the needs of the other. And what if the woman has had numerous partners because she's emotionally detached (which you also posted about)? Its not. Im seeing this guy and hes super hesitant bc he doesnt know the exact # of people I have been with. As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? A couple of reasons for promiscuity, and a couple of examples. If your not going to be responsible w/ your body your either going to lose that double standard, or lose respect. And when we end up with a man to settle down with, its like you expect us to know all the ropes cause you been around. Women are raised differently from men and each carry different values. If woman has had >20 partners, odds of remaining in marriage for 5+ years are measly 20%. So having lots of casual sex it a good indicator that a woman has emotional problems. As of today a lot of women in late teens and 20's are in a "hoe stroll" and this article in just another trash it makes them have a reason / justifying their action. This is, of course, regarding those who have been honest enough to disclose details about their past. A womans body is different. What if a person did poorly in the 9th grade, hell they flat out failed. Think about if we applied such a infantile My current boyfriend has never brought up the conversation about my number of partners and neither have I. (This was very rare for me. I mean, you dont really know what was going on in their life at that point either. number is half your age. But what we all know is that everyone has a past. Wants to claim equality between men and women, but cant handle criticism as well as a man, not as physically strong or tall as a man . What do her previous partners have to do with who she is today? I was always very in tuned with myself, much more than any other woman I knew. Its choices, not mistakes. I didn't feel all that special when it came to making love. Dont judge. Thank you for your wisdom, Mr. Labossiere. Everyone has a past. The choices a person makes in life reflect upon that individuals character, and /everything/ is in the past, once the moment passes, so yes, how many people someone chooses to give their body to, and under what circumstances, certainly reflects upon that individual. choose the best possible man, or to be exact, provider. I would rather date a Guy who has slept around. If you think she doesnt, think twice, because some people dont know how to show it, or show it in strange ways and we might miss those moments (like I have) because were too focused on the negative bits. From evolutionary perspective, what women are seeking in a man is strength; somebody who is some combination of physically strong, self-assured, able to shape their environment rather than having the environment shape them, socially dominant, and someone who not only has the ability to acquire valuable assets but also the desire to share those assets with his woman. Basically, many women today want to be able to act like a whore while they are younger, and still settle down with a man in a stable marriage once they get their promiscuity out of their systems. I dont think so. I would still probably see a similar reaction to my post on both of those subreddits so I have no interest in reading more on that perspective which is why I'm here hoping for more varied discussion. Promiscuous people usually are incapable of having long-term I appear to have acquired a stalker. well now endure the consecuences you will find people who doesnt care but you will also face that there are people who cares. So when a man does commit, he wanted to ensure that the woman he was investing his time and resources in was bearing his own children so that his genes were the ones being passed on and not other other mans child. Some ladies go through the hoe stroll because they feel insecure (maybe no strong father presence, sexual abuse, etc) or because they truly love sex and they want it. In my attempt to be understanding, I heard her out about everything including listening to her tell me that she was very intoxicated, was caught off guard each time (wasnt planned), liked ONE of the guys, and that the other guy was his best friend/roommate. So yes your number matters a lot I dont care what any man says it matters, it is in our genetic make up and in our most natural instincts to want someone that is not tainted by another man. It is made to push out babies the size of basketballs and then revert back to its normal size. happen and now there are consequences: possibly guilt, insecurities form in This is because men are at low risk they can walk away, and if the woman becomes pregnant she is the one who bears 9 months of pregnancy plus childbirth and the resulting minimum 5 years of childrearing. what an stuck I would love to talk about this with someone that is exp it as well. He is allowed to his opinions and values as much as u are allowed to your body Get yourself a virgin problem solved.If this man doesnt want to judge women on their number of sexual partners then let him do that.Let him live. I believe the average male has a high sex drive, created to be the leader/pursuer.. Also, I do not believe in the double standard! It comes in handy. Thanks for sharing your view point, and thanks for scratching below the surface. JOGOS DE HOJE. By his personality it doesn seem that he is a virgin either. Thank goodness the world is full of people with different view points, and a moderate amount of people who are willing to scratch below the surface. However, you chose to explain a womans promiscuity with abuse, mental issues, and low self-esteem. So youre in love and want the relationship to work. He walked away. LOL ! No one would want their daughter or niece to sleep around. I dont know why I feel hurtas i said, I believe people have the right to do what they want. Its only because it does matter to us that we may not want Though I hate emotional baggage. This is the difference between you and some other posters. I actually thought it was clever. I saw her the next day and asked why she acts like that toward me, and she said "BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY". It is about not judging a woman based on her past number of partners. Obsessed much? PROGRAMAO. I reinforced that sex was a major responsibility, must be done with responsibility, and that I definitely preferred that she would wait until she was marriedbut that if something changedprotection was a must! It is expected of women to value themselves more highly then what we expect of men. No two people are the same and regardless of what you may think, you dont ever know EVERYTHING there is to know about anyone. Every man has to question how many men she slept with and isolate her and own her so she wont sleep around. Also consider that all people who engage in a lot of casual sex have higher rates of depression and low self-esteem and lower rates of life satisfaction. (multiple boards, articles studies etc) evince its importance. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. Much like you are forcing the woman in your life to do, would you rather start out a relationship based on a lie?. So lets be perfect in a less than perfect world and provide a few undeniable examples: Your RENT is due and it is $800 and you only have $620Do you have the right or wrong amount??? However, all else being equal, women with more sexual partners are more likely to undergo a failed marriage. Blanksie if you take the time to read the article and many other articles I have written you will notice that I always mention that I think it is best for women to wait. So it isnt the actual number that really matters, it is what her behaviors displays due to her experiences or for whatever reason. If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. She is the exact opposite of what my current girlfriend is. I myself agree with not judging a future mate depending solely on the number of past partners. And I prefer to date her for a while before I sleep with her. And them giving it to you doesnt have to mean they were cheating. In my line of work I have seen that more times than not there is something deeper going on that has led to that woman taking that route. I wonder how many marriages would last if they really even knew. Im not going obsess over the fact that my numbers may be to high. attractive to a potential suitor. Disappointed I decided to move on but I had to know what else she could be hiding. What is more important than the number is why. Besides if you find out she sleeps with the types of guys who sleep around, thats alarming. Theres nothing special about having a turn with a town bicycle. He is the King of kings and Lord of lords. Am a runs girl last month but now a millionaire today. standard to societys other ills; Honey, yes, I raped a couple of The thing is this is just the word I decided to use and I don't have a problem with a girl sleeping with a lot of people in general I'm worried about dating somebody like this and what it's effects could be. These are the things that are going to be Your notions of beta this and slut that are so divorced from reality where do I begin. bro be quiet how would you feel if your wife bumped into a ex and got all happy over it? I even recall my mother saying on several occasions how she would have probably married another man. Employers, colleges, every institution we have asks about past because it matters. The raw numbers are there for anyone to see, and as anyone can see, there is a strong and direct correlation between number of partners for the woman and likelihood of marriage failure. You think people are using condoms at a high ratenope. I understand that women will drop you in a heart-beat these days and that relationships are just a way to pass the time until we can trade up, but as someone who has already made that mistake once, you should be prepared to prevent it the second or even third time around. In the last few years I have hurt her with my venting and myself deeply as well with the thought of it. Sounds like you already know the answer to your conundrum. I want to dedicate long term to this girl as that is what I like to do when I commit to a relationship but I'm terrified that I will end up wasting a large amount of time on a girl who will end up cheating on me or blowing up in my face. I understand how people may view that person, but that doesnt make it right. What would Jesus do? I dont think that the amount of partners anyone has been with in the past should be completely reflective of who they are as a person. 10 Best web hosting for entrepreneurs and small business. I know you will receive the blessings you deserve, just hold on to faith and take the time to forgive the people in your past. She says that she really wants me to know the truth about her past and how many people she slept with. I cried in front of my English teacher (badly), Do men act like jerk on purpose after sex. As a GF or a FB, then men dont care what her count is. Lots of heartache there. So shes had a lot of partners at the same time in the past- if everyone in the situation knew what was up (that there was no expectation of monogamy), then theres no harm to it! Some she didnt even remember their names