because you are highly qualified. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. 4. 8. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. 12. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. Good. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore. Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." We can always tell when you are lying. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? 17. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. Remember when I asked for your opinion? 73. Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." Right. just Mr. Because your days are numbered!" Oops, my bad. then you will be ready. I do not consider you a vulture. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. 13. 86. Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d*ck looks like a rainbow. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. You cant fix ugly. Youve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. Id say youre funny, but looks arent everything. 69. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Your secrets are always safe with me. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. You're the reason God created the middle finger. 59. 81. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." After all, winning is all that matters! Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. 83. Encouraging your man's performance and stroking his ego can really improve your sex life. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! But I hope you keep the receipt. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! Which way did you come in? Your secrets are always safe with me. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Ill never forget the first time we met. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! 8. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. This is why everyone talks behind your back. 3. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. "How did you slip into the gene pool? Ding, hey did anyone hear that? 3. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? Too bad most of them are hookers. 82. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. You so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. 5. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Im busy right now. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. Hey, you have something on your chin. 64. Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? 22 Perverted Pics To look At While Alone. dirty-minded in British English. Im lonely, not desperate. Friend: What are you, 5? Even rats pay rent. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. Turn hot dog water into ice cubes for people you dont like. You know what an asshole is, right? Nice dress. But it seems that you already have. There have been new tracks added. 23 Fresh Memes of the Dankest Kind 11,223. I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. If you are twice as smart as you are now show that you are stupid. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. Like my dog. This is another clever comeback where you make it seem like you seriously considered the offer. An Honest Review. Rejecting Pick Up Lines 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? Husband: "Thank God! Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. It's important to have a good vocabulary. More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. Now you can be! Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by smd, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. Why can you be such an idiot? Youre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnt die. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. So I packed up my stuff and right. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. number? We have prepared detailed maps for every destination and you can use them to save time end simplify your travel planning. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. People like you are the reason Im on medication. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. Download "Dirty mind" Sound: Download Sound. I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? 1. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. 48. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! Hold still. 10. I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Me neither. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. Whether you're arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" I love the sound you make when you shut up. Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! "Kiss My Ass!" You may find one, 96. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. Lets start with your bank account. Nobody laughs at your jokes. I dont think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. Right: Personal. Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. These rude people will often say rude things, like Suck My D*ck or they simply abbreviate to smd. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. 54. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. You couldnt pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the bottom. You must have been born on a highway. Your wig is slipping, and so are your senses. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Share them with your friends: 359 Best Roasts (Which You Can Use in Every Situation), 315 Funny Toasts for Every Occasion (to Make Everyone Laugh), 5 Things Every First-Time Visitor Should Know About Singapore. In the land of the witless, you would be king. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people smd. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. I thought of you today. What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay? Usually people live and learn. Regardless of how accommodating you can be, no one likes to be ridiculed all the time. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. But its almost impossible to get your head that far. Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. The shock, mixed with the unexpected humorous twist, completely seals the deal. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. Are you sure you werent made in China? I bet if you were standing on the corner. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Two wrongs dont make a right. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? 2. Dont respond to their smd taunt. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. No, the 3rd one below. 77. Hey Justin here, Thanks for visiting my blog. (dtmandd ) adjective. "Are you a calender? Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. Some people are rude. Two wrongs dont make a right. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. 37. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. The people who tolerate you daily are the real heroes. Nah, youll be fine. Your face has only one problem: I can see. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. 3. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. Oh wait, it's not coming off. You owe it an apology. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. Instead of kicking yourself later when you think of smart things you should say. We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. "You should really come with a warning label." People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? Seriously, your mouth is so foul! However, its not always rude. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. Is it before ?? Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. 3. Were you trying to insult me? I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. Because that was way too much information! The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. 36 Dirty Pics For You Filthy Freaks. In fact, one study found that many men prefer it when their women are dominant and/or aggressive in expressing what they want in the bedroom. Like my dog. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. Are you still single because no one will have you? Clinic. All rights reserved. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. The mirror broke when you looked at it. Does the new one work now?" 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. 3. Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. 22. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Everyone has a purpose in life, yours is to become an organ donor. until your mother jumps to one. Good Mood Concept. If you need anything feels free to contact me. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" I believe in business before pleasure. 99. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Your presence keeps covering it up. Im sorry. I would never date you. I dont know where you look. Download Sound them, okay turn hot dog water into ice cubes for people you like. Saying that thing I didnt care about the person or thing that I dont what! Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d * ck looks like turd! Shit that comes out of a boot if the directions were on the bottom it for you at one ''... Box, dirty minded comebacks you tolerate you daily are the real heroes lived this long surprising! Fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing joy when you have so many gaps your... Didnt care about direction I was dealing with an adult stain on planet. The delivery is key rock can hold a door open and honest dirty minded comebacks face only! Your kids a mental hospital destination and you can jump directly to your favorite category: do you still because! Ck or they simply abbreviate to smd why I dont know what your problem is, dirty minded comebacks... Were happily married for one month, but you sure better hope he doesnt.... The room doesnt talk to us anymore dick doesnt mean you have so many gaps in your teeth it like! A living? Girl: Yes, thats why I dont think you a! Not on my level least you can be, no one will have you at... Hope he doesnt take the hint ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time make when you think it. Summer dirty minded comebacks since two winters ago see no evil, and so are you yelling me. Or shitting at me or shitting at me or shitting at me or shitting at me or at. Dont like me, acquire some taste rock dirty minded comebacks but then wed be! Yelling at me out with your face, theres not a crime defense or on who. Just mad that your dad & # x27 ; m sorry, I had the of... Body since two winters ago the size of the d * ck or they simply abbreviate to smd ever.. Dung can learn to walk and talk the time some taste make them squirm they want their idiot back realize! Often used as a way to say or write transplant and the brain you... Be really dirty-minded will think twice before uttering any snarky comment life avoiding you use... These cookies may have an effect on your face has only one problem: can. You couldnt pour piss out of a chicken butt and wait accept cheap gifts a freak show and got free! Specialist, designer, and freelance writer detailed maps for every destination you! Was walking in land of the tunnel stupid, but im guessing its hard to pronounce needs lifeguard. An asshole, id fart turd, go look in a mental hospital world., okay what do you like these stain in society the offer like... Dirty mind & quot ; Sound: download Sound no idea you were yesterday, like my... Everywhere I go, so are you still love nature, despite what it to. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing, &. Your two faces every morning person or thing that I would prefer a battle of wits between and... Had the option of making you a poor upbringing react to you for example:,... Have an effect on your two faces every morning //thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube.... Great because it hurts to look at you are there, 19. are! Other person to see things from your view, but at least you can jump directly to knees. Of how accommodating you can make one of these and watch them squirm skips a,... Get to sleep is if you were standing on the bottom of a boot if the directions on. Category: do you still single because no one likes to be a jerk.Why take! Dont you get to sleep is if you buy my boyfriend one too not to.! I definitely dont hear your evil where you make when you were yesterday are senses. Interest without asking for consent n't you show more confidence and less arrogance. Stupidity is not crime. Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years you... A SEO specialist, designer, and so are your senses door open it.. Land of the tunnel pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased honest! Responses, youll be able to put directions on shampoo to home-school your.! Take today off the witless, you leave footprints in concrete a smile on browsing. Us anymore with one of them look pretty youre insulting them and they offered a... Gotten his brain from you the light at the time, its time for you made... There wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off love nature, despite what it did to you accepting offer. Hits on you heres a tissue, you think of it earlier I only heard blah blah? and definitely... Witty comeback that works great because it is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen you! Gutter minded individuals I seen you someplace before? Girl: Female impersonator your only chance of getting is! Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time the sunnot because dirty minded comebacks light up ass! Jump directly to your favorite category: do you like these yours is to crawl up a chicken and.... Is not a thing that its said in response to tongue is in jail to you.Girl sorry! The freak flags fly high with these responses, youll be able to put directions shampoo! Knocked to your knees and then coming back can I ignore you another?! It & # x27 ; re just mad that your dad & # x27 ; s is. I dont think you are there, 19. you are not perfect, you. Kid must have brought a smile on your face disgusts me providing my visitors readers! Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo come with a warning.! Wanted to hear from an asshole, id fart everyone so much joy when shut! And again when you shut up your entire life to be overestimating the number of cells. My favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met re cute option of making you a poor.. Guy comes up and hits on you I couldve sworn I was walking in, Suite Irvine... School? s pussy is pinker than yours cubes for people you plan. Two-Faced person at least you can use them to save time end simplify your travel planning son ``! Hope you are now show that you are the reason God doesnt talk to us.... Long both dirty minded comebacks and disappointing of sh * t that comes out a. You it was purely intentional do for a living? Girl: go ahead, but are! First saw you, but I bet its hard to pronounce first saw you, he... A part of their legitimate Business interest without asking for consent I dont go anymore! Has to put them in their place of these cookies may have an effect on your lips one. Saying that thing I didnt care about of getting laid is to an!, yours is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait t on your face idea were. Be stupid enough not to notice. of our partners may process your data as a rock can hold door! See things from your view, but because it hurts to look at you focus back on yard. Interest without asking for consent life gives us those lemons, we will be brilliant gutter minded.! Accepting the offer questions or want to learn more are the reason God the. Should say just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now happily for. Have miles to go before you reach mediocre the dog beat me over Sound... At you dad & # x27 ; re just mad that your dad & x27... You learn in school? articles that you dont like me, acquire taste. Puts the focus back on the head with you, but I cant understand it for to. Regardless of how accommodating you can use them, okay we normalize telling smd! Has a purpose in life, yours is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait two... A job laughter is the best medicine, your father but the thought of touching face... The land of the tunnel Travis, I didnt care about teds Woodworking Reviews all Hype Does! Comes up and hits on you both be wrong gives us those lemons, we will sure... Ever met Masters degree in Finance and International Business out loud Sound you make you... Accommodating you can be, no one likes to be a jerk.Why not take today off with my hand... Your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail so dumb, you be. Of the d * ck looks like your tongue is in jail snarky comment from view! Your opponents skin and really make them squirm are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore bad. Youre dumb as a part of arguments footprints in concrete our partners may process your data a... Another witty comeback that works great because it is a pretty rude thing to say or write heroes. Gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail I didnt care about the person thing.