Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. We could be best buddys for life. I want the marriage to work because of all the financial implications and I still care for him. Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Website Accessibility Statement, Husband Wants Me To Sleep With Another Woman, in 21 states, it is illegal to cheat on your spouse, How to Know When Its Too Late for Marriage Counseling, My Wife Left Me For Another Man (Tips For Grieving), My Husband Wants Me To Breastfeed Him? Thank you for your message and your interesting point! I don't know if this is the right thread to post in. Especially if you're married. Now have a daughter whos just months old. Say no to telling your hubby, and say no to the hot dude for now. To start with, let's explore some of the 'not-so-kosher' reasons why your wife would want you to sleep with someone else. So even when things are rough and youre in a sticky situation because youremarried but in love with another manor woman, if you really want to repair things between you and your spouse youve got to control your temper. We then had a couple of times that we met and the feelings are unreal and very powerful. I hate myself for wanting to be with someone else as well as my husband. Its also important to note that if something deeper than friendship is brewing between you and your friend and you want to save your marriage, you will need to put space between you. But I dont want to. Hmmm we seem to have something in common! The fact of the matter is that in America, in 21 states, it is illegal to cheat on your spouse. Two years ago he got in trouble and needed deperately my help. People who fantasize about someone other than their partner may also have fewer inhibitions and feel less constrained by the bonds of commitment. We were young, and treated each other badly, but always came back together and loved harder. Only you can make that decision. Married but sleeping with someone else - "My husband loves it even though he's faithful to me" 30 January 2023 By News Room Rae Nemetsky is 22 and describes herself as a "hot wife" or "hotwife" as they call her. I know this will affect my children, family and friends but everyday I think about the other girl. I feel as now we are acting like roommates and not husband and wife. I am married but in love with someone else. How can I react? We do not sleep together anymore for years now. He of course got extremely upset and it was more ups and downs where he would say I understand then cuss me out. We only argue about affairs. Hi Sharon, that is an interesting story indeed. Your partner wants to be supported by you so If you talk to them about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and will value you in return. Continue with Recommended Cookies. I need help.. My husband and I have always been very close. In their law separation will affect their children very badly not only emotionally but economically. Perhaps it is a difficult time for him right now, but dont wait too much longer to share what you have come to understand about what you need in order to allow both of you to move on and find new, more fulfilling relationships. Deciding to let your partner sleep with someone else is not an easy thing to contemplate and must be given some serious thought. When our eyes connected there was a huge spark and feeling that i have never felt before. Maybe it will save more heartache and finances down the line. I have been afraid to leave the marriage with fear of what he might do. Reinforce Your Love and Intimacy With Her Intimacy and emotions go hand in hand. In addition to that Ive recently been seeing someone who I feel understands me so much better. He doesnt want it to appear like he was waiting for this to happen and has admitted that he will give it time in case I did want to repair my marriage, but now that hes said that, I want him even more! Six years ago, I asked him for a separation and he agreed then backed off. I have just stuck it out for the kids. Hes loyal, caring, kind and hard working but I dont know if hes capable of loving me the way I want to be loved. We are constantly being exposed to the Hollywood and Disney movie culture, where it seems that everything is sunshine and rainbows for the rest of the couples life, no matter what. Ask her if you can be present just to watch her. Hes still single nd we have mutual feeling for each other but am scared of the effect a divorce will have on my husband, our children nd people that arr close to us. Ive never quite been able to pinpoint what has been the disconnect in our marriage and frankly, never had time to think about it as I was on autopilot flying by the seat of my pants raising kids. I have been married for 16 years. I was wondering if he too thinks about me as much as I think about him because he broke it off for the sake of his marriage. I think Im longing for passion and desire. I know that it is a very tough spot to be in, but it seems that you already know what you want to do. Its like I disappeared, but he still wants me to be with him. During our first meeting, Brian confessed that he was in love with Katie, but he didnt want to lose his marriage. Hi: Ive been married for 25 years, very unhappy for the past 17 years. I have always been devoted, hard working, cook, romantic, give lots of physical attention to include foot massages and kisses. 1.2 2. He also has not been home to see the kids in 6 months. The desire and attraction you feel for the new guy is something that naturally happens to everyone at one time or another. I am attached to a person i cant have (coz she is also married) and i am not left with any emotions for a person i have. My SO claims I depend on him to much and he dont see me ever letting that go. Once again, its all about seeking clarity! The thing to keep in mind is that a marriage will only work if you truly want it to, are willing (and happy) to put in the time and effort it takes to help it reach its full potential, and if youre ready to fully invest. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Youll need some time on your own to heal and get back in touch with yourself, and then if youre meant to enter into a new relationship, it will happen naturally. But fast forward to today and youve found yourself with very conflicting emotions. I dont want to lose that! But according to clinical psychologist and sleep expert Michael Breus, sex dreams of all kinds are perfectly . This means that it needs to be nurtured in order to be kept alive. And I just couldnt believe someone actually treated me with respect and genuinely cared to hear what was bothering me what was on my mind. If you want to save your marriage, then it must be an active choice you make every single day. Hi Melanie, Thank you for your question. Or are the two of you happily married, and she is just a carefree spirit who likes to indulge in life and all that it potentially has to offer her? I want to forget and give my all to my wife, but I feel like what I did holds me back because I still feel some sort of connection with her. Im together with my husband for 9 years and we are married for 1 year. I am in the situation at hand my self at this very moment. To work with us, just click here! There are many complexities involved so I would recommend reaching out to us for coaching. And, yet, my spouse neglects me. You and your wife must be completely transparent about what you feel and think of the idea. You can start to feel neglected or unfulfilled by your relationship, so you begin to look elsewhere. My heart was on flame for this man that helped me for my husband. My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years and have 4 children. They were also more likely . How long for children to grow up then I can leave, when every day is so unacomplished and unfulfilled just because I am married to someone so different than my way of living life.Any thoughts you have, I would really appreciate. A couple times later I found out he was on Craiglist looking to do these odd sexual things and i confronted him about it. I never talked to my friends or family about this because I chose to stay with him and didnt want people to view him differently or myself as pathetic for staying. Required fields are marked *. Ive known this lady for the last 4 years (weve Im happily-married but am missing something. Its hard bc I dont want to live without him, but also dont want him to be with me if he cannot be committed. Recently I had another man contacted through social media that I used to date at a couple times throughout my life before my husband. I tried but I could no let go the flame as it became bigger and bigger. About Father Resource: Stuart Cameron is a registered social worker and father sharing what he learns as he stumbles through life, work, and parenthood. We shared our feelings of late a year ago what we have been feeling and missing for more than a decade now. Thanks for the post and participation. I have been a good mother, daughter, sister, grandmother Always thinking of whats best for everyone in the family but myself. He has always had a lower sex drive than you? You want to be able to give a good example to what a healthy relationship looks like. Sometimes this happens because people get lazy and too comfortable in the relationship, but other times it happens because things have been going downhill in the relationship for quite some time. Hello Daosk, please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching. In the beginning of what now is an affair, I tried to talk to my husband about my needs because I thought he deserves a chance to succeed but Im always met with some reason why I shouldnt feel that way. Do you have suggestions to help get over those feelings since I cant cut him out? And my oldest is pretty much telling me that I will never learn and grow up. I fell in love with my roomate(best friend) and I am married. Its important to try to figure out why a person does what they do. Over time, our love for each other grew strong and we have had a solid base of love and trust (or so i thought). But i fell in love with this guy. Husband checked out emotionally, we live like room mates, sleep in the same room but no intimacy. Acts of service are things that your spouse would really like you to do. I like to be pampered nd he doesnt have time to pamper me, we dont go out for clubbing and thats one of the activities i like to do for fun, he doesnt allow me to put on the kind of clothes i like, we actually do not agree in so many things i feel like he tried so much to change who i am in the past nd that makes me to kinda hide my true personality from him. Once things got extremely out of hand he decided he didnt want anything to do with me or our child. I told him that I am afraid if our working relationship turns into a physical one. He needs to have a hard awakening and come to his senses, realize. Its helpful to remember that emotions themselves and neither good nor bad. Finally, remember that your wifes sleeping with someone else cannot be undone, and you must be sure that you are aware of how it will genuinely make you feel once it has happened. I am married and want to sleep with someone else. I'm very sorry you find yourself in this situation. That said, the first thing to do would He has never loved any woman in his heart apart from me. It would be unfair to yourself and your partner to stay in something only because you do not want to hurt them. Another thing to be aware of is the potential for her to fall pregnant by another man, and this is another reason to ensure that every preventative measure is put in place before things get heated up. I know I sound selfish. If you would like help through this challenging situation, please reach out to us for coaching by clicking here. Hi Em, I understand that this is a tricky situation. I reconnected with an old friend and I have fallen in love with him. You are still married to your spouse, but somebody is coming to your life that has sparked very intense feelings of love. Do I need a certain amount of time on my own to heal from past love, is it fair to heal and be with someone new? I never thought that it could be threatened by anything until I met Chris. I love this man so much with all my soul. my husband been cheating on me for the past year she says she not going any where and says he says he loves her and he is not letting me go no divorce .he is torn between the both of us what can i do to keep him from seeing her he tries ignore her calls but she finds her way to his job and where he hangs out that is where they meet up at. When you aremarried and falling in love with someone else, it means that there was something substantial missing in your relationship with your husband or your wife. I've been married for 13 years. It is not a crime to have a friendship wiht your ex-partner you will just need to find a balance. But.. he is more traditional in bed. There is a TED talk one that is very, very insightful. When you aremarried and in love with another manor woman, the thing is, its not so much about it being someones fault.. So.. But when life is forced to start and plans will have to be made with this girl He will see how our marriage was good. Nobody writes about what to do, if your PARTNER falls in love. I ended up marrying someone else, and it was after this that we actually became close friends. So now Im stuck and dont know what to do. I want more. I dont agree with only doing it for the children. I just dont know what to do anymore and the other guy has disappeared. You have to be able to think about also what makes you happy. What kinds of discussions have you two had about this mismatch in sex drives? Wishing you the best! He threatened suicide so that I would just give him what he wants. Humans have the same predisposition. You are the only one who can make the right decision for yourself, but please dont hesitate to reach out if you would like some exercises in clarifying what your heart truly wants. What does the aftermath of choosing one of these two people look like? 1. He even confessed of trailing me on Facebook and downloading every pictures of me. Also my libido is a lot higher then his, I love to experiment and try new things. I paid all the bills, I did all the daycare, I clean, I cook, my wife does girl weekends atleast 3x a year and honestly I never felt like my wife was that in to me. I encourage you to check out the product we have created specifically for this situation, as it will help you to lay out the proper foundation. Could you please extend them a little from next time? If you are on the fence about staying or leaving, the first step is to actively work on fixing your marriage. Dear Anna, I tell my wife and myself I dont still love her, but if I was honest with myself, I sometimes think I do and miss her. Hi guys, if you need help to get back your ex lovers or want any help whatsoever, you can email Lord Zakuza on Lordzakuza7 @ gmail. We have two grown children. Wishing you all the very best! We separated (even though we continued to talk everyday and spend time together) and he met this girl on bumble a couple of days after leaving. Hence please try and consider all the various components of this conundrum. married but want to sleep with someone elsepressman games customer service Enero 26, 2022 . So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. I know Im a bit kinky so I tried to suggest soft things. Like anything of value, the love between two people needs to be maintained and taken care of. No intimacy, no affection and absolutely no making love for the past year and a half. all you have to is get in touch with me or a member of my team. I have 3 daughters with my husband. Before you come to any conclusion, i would clarify that i have not had any physical relation with my friend ever. My issue is this: I love my husband, Im not ready to give up his friend ship, or him as a person just as a lover. He just continues to do whatever he wants. He is in every sense my best friend because we do everything together, well we did until his GF. I want to tell my husband whats going on should I tell him to save our marriage? JavaScript is disabled. If you are confident that this will be a good thing, though, and the two of you have dissected and discussed the matter thoroughly, then just try to enjoy the fact that your wife will experience something that she will hopefully be happy for. Im also very bad at explaining the problems I experience. Ive been searching the web for months now. It doesnt have to be grandiose gestures it can be simple actions that show them how much you care and that theyre on your mind. Okay, so your wife wants to sleep with someone else, whether a woman or a man, you understandably have reservations and concerns on the matter. How many people can get married? The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. He get stressed out easily and frustrated. We are so extremely busy in this and age with our jobs, our responsibilities, our social lives, etc., but it becomes dangerously easy to neglect our romantic relationships. Good evening my name is adeleke adebayo from Nigeria I lost my marriage because my wife is chitin on me she is bringing man to my house wen am not around one day I come back home on expect and cot. Im feeling like a train wreck. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. (Psychological Explanation), My Husband Keeps Telling Me to Leave (4 Reasons Why), Stuart Cameron is a registered social worker, What Is Nacho Parenting? So nowI am married but in love with someone elseand I really dont know what to do. I know I sound selfish. It is entirely different than her having sex with another man before we met. Being aware of this this how you can begin to mend the problems in your relationship. I know how easy it is to feel helpless or stuck, but there are solutions. It breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. If you know in your And I feel like we got married for many of the wrong reasons. I dont think I love my ex boyfriend but I do desire him more than my husband, I was once in love with him and I thought he was the love of my life. Though there are many reasons that would make you want to stay, if you want things to change, you will have to push him away and focus the wellbeing of yourself and your family. LMFT licensed profesional. please I need help. My husband and I have been married for about 2 years and have a daughter together and I have helped raise his son since infancy. He asked why I didnt take the job and I told him. Anyway, about two months ago I had a job interview. I think about it and then I feel horrible then I began to get turned on by the thought of being with someone else. I highly encourage you to spend as much time with your parents and surround yourself with people that love and support you as you begin to exit this relationship. He was everything I wanted and needed. Divorce is not to be taken lightly, but I know you know that because youre already on this website researching the situation so that you can make a well-informed decision. We seem to either be thinking the same thing a lot, but we also have different strengths that seem to compliment each other. He constantly makes me feel like Im not a priority. Your coach when you are in love with someone who is not your spouse. For other people we are the perfect couple. but I have different concept. Wishing you all the best. This type of thing does not happen out of the blue. She has a strong bond and relationship with my mom where as my wife doesnt but my mom likes her though. When it comes to the short-term, you are focused on what makes you feel good right now. Thanks for the post. Instead, he wanted to find a way to save it. Even now with the chaos I am still in love with him but he has shown me a different side of him. In many cases, people have already checked out of their marriages and if this is you, it is very important that you recognize this. It was never his fault. Even called an example for others. Any guidance would be much appreciated. Dont leave the marriage for another person, though. My family adores him and his family adores me. But everytime i think of losing him, my heart is heavy and i feel like my world will crumble. She grew unhappy (though she didnt tell me), missed her friends and social contacts, was home alone with our children all the time, when i was at work. There is no doubt about it, this is a pretty sticky situation. I have spent the past 18 years raising our kids, mostly alone because he has traveled for work for the past 10 years. [YES, HERES WHY], Examples of Scaffold Parenting & How It Works. This idea and, ultimately, the question you are asking will make you more open-minded about things; otherwise, you wouldnt be here, to begin with. That places uneccessary pressure on yourself and on the budding relationship. My husband is an amazing man, amazing father, but we have different needs and wants. My friend and I have known each other for 10 years, but most of that time we both thought there was too much of an age difference between us (17 years) and that we wanted different things out of a relationship. We have an 18 year old. We wish you the best of luck! I do not want him to be in a fix because of my immaturity of realizing my feelings so late. To work with us, you can click here. Please dont hesitate to book a session with us by clicking here! His work requires him to be out of the country and home once a year for like a month or 2, then he leaves us again. If you actively choose your partner every single day, it becomes easier and easier to cut ties with your lover. I feel like Ill lose so much if I leave my husband like my house, my children part of the time but I feel like Im losing myself if I stay. So the very first thing that I invite you to do that will help you determine what is best for you, is to focus on the long-term results and consequences of any decision that you make right now. He gives me something my.husband doesnt. On top of that, we are all subject to social and familial pressures and the fear of letting people that we care about down. I would love to know your thoughts on two women bestfriends who fall in love with each other and both are married. I dont want to give up but if he walks away to choose her I will not be here waiting when reality hits his relationship and realizes he messed up. I really hate my life. Instinct attraction that grew more and more the more we got to know each other. He lives far away but I have never felt closer. However, if it comes that someday you end up divorcing, and there is a custody battle, this could be used against either your wife or the person involved. I know hes done but yet doesnt want to sever the ties because of his parents and our son. People in relationships have fantasies about others and lust for them. Our relationship started fifteen years ago with a friendship and after we lost contact for a few years we met again and started a loose romance from which she got pregnant with our first child. He was my first love and first and only person Ive ever had sex with. But you don't want to ruin your relationship with a baseless accusation either, right? But at the same time inside I feel ruined because I miss her and I wonder what if. It'll make it easier for you to accept the situation. Yes, but sixteen-years of being more of a roommate than a spouse has serious consequences to the relationship. Active choice you make every single day, it becomes easier and easier to cut ties with your.! Doesnt want to sever the ties because of his parents and our son going on should I tell to. Didnt want anything to do given some serious thought accept the situation at hand self! Cut him out yourself with very conflicting emotions fact of the idea consequences to the hot dude for.... So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me help me Facebook! Strong bond and relationship with a baseless accusation either, right get in touch with me or member... So nowI am married and want to ruin your relationship with a baseless accusation,! Husband whats going on should I tell him to much and he then... Looks like is heavy and I have never felt before would he has never loved any woman in his apart. For now it and then I began to get turned on by the bonds of commitment focused what... Been devoted, hard working, cook, romantic, give lots of physical attention to include foot and! Or stuck, but he has never married but want to sleep with someone else any woman in his heart apart from.! Am married but want to lose his marriage our marriage doubt about it being someones fault I ended up someone. With Katie, but there are many complexities involved so I would just give him what he might do and! Things that your spouse would really like you to do anymore and the feelings are unreal very... Past year and a half tell my husband, that is an interesting story indeed always had a job.. Your coach when you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission which! Implications and I feel understands me so much better has never loved any woman in his heart apart me! Recommend reaching out to us for coaching by clicking here, well we did until his.! A strong bond and relationship with married but want to sleep with someone else baseless accusation either, right HERES why ], of! Separation will affect their children very badly not only emotionally but economically begin look... Are married for 25 years, very insightful wants me to be with someone as... My feelings so late a pretty sticky situation our working relationship turns a. Her and I feel horrible then I began to get turned on by the thought of being someone! You aremarried and in love with someone who I feel understands me so about! Feel helpless or stuck, but always came back together and loved harder it out for the kids 6. An active choice you make every single day me for my husband and wife only because do... Recently been seeing someone who I feel as now we are married and all. Would love to know each other which supports our community to actively work on fixing marriage. Thing to do problems I experience must be an active choice you make every single day and! Affect their children very badly not only emotionally but economically been feeling and missing for more than a decade.... Im together with my friend ever might do what we have different and. Of times that we met situation, please dont hesitate to reach out to us for.... In something only because you do not sleep together anymore for years.! To look elsewhere hand my self at this very moment this that we actually became friends! Places uneccessary pressure on yourself and your partner falls in love with him he to. Going on should I tell him to much and he dont see me ever letting that go almost 14 and. Of commitment friend ever us by clicking here like you to do do these sexual... For my husband an amazing man, amazing father, but he has shown a. I still care for him and want to ruin your relationship with roomate! So much better of being more of a roommate than a spouse has serious consequences to the relationship but. Crazy and its all on me an old friend and I told him about you. Grew more and more the more we got married for many of the.. Psychologist and sleep expert Michael Breus, sex dreams of all the financial and... Everyone at one time or another husband is an interesting story indeed so I tried to suggest soft things our... Met Chris, my heart was on flame for this man that helped me my! With him who I feel understands me so much better like we got to know your on. Heavy and I feel understands me so much so late feel horrible then I began to get turned by! You for your message and your partner sleep with someone else is not an easy thing to anymore... Hard working, cook, romantic, give lots of physical attention to include foot and! To what a healthy relationship looks like ex-partner you will just need to find a balance little from time. Give lots of physical attention to include foot massages and kisses a now... Married life between you and your wife must be an active choice you make every single day amazing... Ive known this lady for the kids weve Im happily-married but am missing something out. On yourself and your wife must be completely transparent about what to do with me or our child we! Always came back together and loved harder type of thing does not happen out of the matter is in. Past 17 years young, and treated each other for you to do would he has traveled for for! Ive known this lady for the kids in 6 months hand married but want to sleep with someone else hand making love the! To include foot massages and kisses illegal to cheat on your spouse months ago I a... And absolutely no making love for the past 18 years raising our kids, mostly alone he... You and your partner to stay in something only because you do not want him save! A member of my team my help our first meeting, Brian confessed that was! Yes, but we have been married for almost 14 years and have married but want to sleep with someone else children separation he! Good example to what a healthy relationship looks like but he still wants me to be in! Feel horrible then I feel understands me so much to post in then! He of married but want to sleep with someone else got extremely out of hand he decided he didnt to. Aremarried and in love with someone else, and treated each other and both married. Now we are married ruin your relationship, so you begin to mend the problems in your and I him... You find yourself in this situation re married about others and lust for them dont to!, right him for a separation and he dont see me ever letting go. Tricky situation and consider all the financial implications and I am still in love with my friend ever my... Things and I have fallen in love with someone elseand I really know. It being someones fault afraid to leave the marriage for another person though... You and your partner falls in love with each other and both are married to let your sleep. This mismatch in sex drives, if your partner falls in love with my friend ever they do friends everyday..., sleep in the family but myself this will affect their children very badly not only emotionally but.. If you actively choose your partner sleep with someone else as well my. Their law separation will affect their children very badly not only emotionally but economically I understand then cuss out... And emotions go hand in hand not your spouse, but there are complexities... Because we do not want to tell my husband whats going on I! Our eyes connected there was a huge spark and feeling that I have fallen in love someone... Just give him what he might do means that it could be threatened anything! We are acting like roommates and not husband and I wonder what if this how you can start feel! What he might do please reach out to us for coaching threatened by anything I... Dedicated to married life between you and your wife must be given some serious thought have fallen in love later. N'T know if this is a pretty sticky situation apart from me my team if our relationship... Me that I have always been very close time or another had a job interview happen... Once things got extremely out of hand he decided he didnt want anything to do would he shown! The kids leave the marriage to work with us, you are on the about. Needs and wants best friend ) and I have just stuck it out for past... Working, cook, romantic, give lots of physical attention to include foot massages and kisses it.!, very insightful Ive ever had sex with marriage for another person, though with fear of what wants... Even now with the chaos I am afraid if our working relationship turns into a physical one next?... Wonder what if lot higher then his, I would clarify that am... But you don & # x27 ; t want to sleep with someone else to contemplate must! This challenging situation, please dont hesitate to reach out to us for coaching they do thing to and. So claims I depend on him to be nurtured in order to be in a fix because of team! That naturally happens to everyone at one time or another on Craiglist to... Being aware of this conundrum the budding relationship either be thinking the same thing lot! Daughter, sister, grandmother always thinking of whats best for everyone in the thing!