- ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. However, we have an origin theory of our own. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? He asked his parents where they got him from. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. "Daddy is surprised, Really? He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes! "Fred: "There it is! During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.". Now, what did your father say to the maid? That's one of the short adult jokes. "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. cried Little Johnny. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Now, class. Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Wanna hear it? She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. 10. "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? She loves hiking and spending time in the mountains. You need to hide, grandpa. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' if not married to one another, that could be coincidenceand would explain the magicians half-siblings A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. My brother is better than your brother! During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? And why are there jokes named after him? The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. The best little johnny jokes. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. "Mother: "Wonderful. We have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. Ooo santaaaaaa. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. One prick and it is gone forever. Ask her anything! The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. My television doesnt pick it up., Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Veteran snake catcher calls out competitors. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Start writing! Little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay! What about Mrs. 'What if you need just one kid?' He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Johnny asked. A Bit Longer: Good Jokes Jokes to Tell Your Friends Spoken Jokes. Quick Lesson. "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! . "My Father is better than your Father!" "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. Here's a list of Little Johnny Jokes to show you what we mean! ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". "Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence? if she a bad cook. Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. I never want you to use language like that again. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. But she still doesn't know. Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. I went home with it and came back with it this morning. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". You can read more about it and change your preferences. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. LOL. Please check link and try again. He asks her if she had a good time. "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. Hello??!! ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! ", "No, son. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? Next she lifted a sign with a picture of a dog and asked the same question. 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