Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. But I feel so guilty and ashamed and like a failure for wanting this and I dont know what to do. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. Most of you experienced it yourselves unless you are blessed with incredible good looks or a family wealth. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 2. all of our arguments come from her depression and her being in a bad mood, i can only sometimes cheer her up. I still see him he wrote 2 suicide notes to me and his dad ( when I asked him to leave) and produced them for me to read. Every time we go out she freaks out. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants me to be around my arms! Two nights ago after a weekend of not really talking that much as she was very down and I was super busy with work, we spoke on the phone and she told me she needed to be alone and deal with this, because her depression was the worst its ever been. Even if youve had bad experiences with the Christian belief in the past, I suggest you to just try something. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. I m still jobless for more than 2yrs thinking about her problems all the time.i can marry her after getting a good job.i feel like my life is hell and but I am not selfish too. Thats not me! Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. It just makes me feel worse, plus medication takes 63-64 days to actually kick in. Breaking up is my last option but a considerable option because the fact that she is just not paying attention to me, everything is about her and her thoughts only. Yes, "envier" is a word. Me being there, and supporting this whole time didnt count for anything. I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. I'm not sure how to begin so I guess I'll start from the beginning. She has been alcoholic for 10 years. We kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me. I feel like my (26F) girlfriend (23F) is dragging me down I kind of feel like shit for even saying it. I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. There has to be solutions. Listen, really try to listen like she was your best friend not girlfriend. Warm regards, She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! Be willing to provide physical assistance. Like you rejecting the last possible form of understanding and connection. I was in shock but I have on other option than to fight. Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. It works for me (I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time). That left me with a perspective of loosing someone I really love and also left space for me to think about it in safe environment. We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. I know she deals with her own issues and Ive known for quite some time, but I see it more often now. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. I Feel Helpless! My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. I dont see it getting any better. Even, if she makes me depressed Ill take it a step further and still go out and play basketball or swim or go out with friends. Hugs. I wanted to cope with it on my own, I thought that I would be finally feeling proud of myself if I could fix myself. Ask yourself if you truly want to continue in the relationship. If you think youre a piece of poop, youre going to think others think that way too. This really got to me, he is my first love! I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. You sound like a great boyfriend supporting her an everything.But where us your relationship right now?I mean,have you become just a caretaker for her,a shoulder to cry on?Or have you guys maintained your relationship to a good enough level so far?This is very important because what happens once she gets over her depression depends a lot on this.If she only sees you like a caretaker,there isnt much of a role for you to play when she does conquer her depression!Please reflect on this and sort things out.I know how it feels to stand by someone and then be abandoned by that same person.I would hate for that to happen to anybody else,especially to someone who has been as supportive as youve been! Tissue Issues: My Friend Is Dragging Me Down. Dont worry youre not alone! The medications side effect is sex blocking, also with her off alcohol her mind cant deal with emotions as other people, so basicly we had like 3 times sex this year. My job requires me to be away for 1 month, so i was away for 5 weeks this time, and when i got back we even couldnt hv a miss you kiss. Depression is a serious issue that is very difficult to understand. I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. She has to take control of her own mind if she ever wants to get better. We've been together for about a year now. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. Exactly. Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. Take it as a hint that things need to change. Shes struggled to be present at her job, and isnt able to meet deadlines or pass things in on time. So if your partner isn't pulling his or her weight, you may find yourself feeling like giving up. I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. 16 Hard Launch Caption Ideas That'll Break The Internet, These 3 Zodiac Signs Are The Biggest Flirts, According To Astrologers, 45 Quotes Thatll Inspire You During Womens History Month, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. You tend to put blame on you, stop doing this. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? 3. Our arguments are born out of nothing, she wants me to do as she wishes and doesnt believe in personal space, family commitments, having ambitions and achievoing dreams. 6. I dont mind being a caretaker.. but it has to be for someone who also cares about me. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. My sleep have been deprived for over 6 months. I dealt the final blow when I advised psychological follow-up over and over again. does anyone have any pointers or ideas? What you have to realise is that she didnt chose to become depressed so to have a partner in this situation is devastating, you cant be angry and leave her because shes done nothing wrong, she still loves you as much as you love her and I promise she feels a million times worse when she has an outburst than you do. Over the past year I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition. I also have depression. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. She doesnt want to leave me either, because if she does she says she will kill herself. Maybe your girlfriend finds talking to her friend, who also has the same kind of problem, helpful in some way. It is very sad when a very good man like me just happens to have very bad luck with women when i really shouldnt at all. Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! She thinks I must be sleeping with someone else & she is not the object of my desire. I am having the same issue and the text is most definitely NOT part of an image. Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. A. I have been through many websites reading about relationship breakdowns when a partner is depressed and the most common thing is how the non depressed partner is feeling totally drained and feel their life has gone down hill leading them down the road to depression. In order for her to have a chance at any kind of substantive change and lasting relief, she needs to be working on these issues in therapy. Its gut wrenching. I let things change for the negative and even though my instinct knew something was wrong I stuck with it because I am loyal and felt love on a certain level that I thought was worth considering. So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. (Cue that sad trombone. And dwelling in the state of permanent not-understanding-what-is-going-on is no option. were so messed up its insane. I dunno maybe thats just me. Its your natural born right to be happy! I completely changed from confident cheeky fit guy to someones whose fat, very low self esteem and broken. Karen S., a business executive in her late 20s, had been with her boyfriend eight months when she fell into a funk. You have to start working on it, push things forward. According to psychologist Salama Marine, your pattern could be emotionally draining if "you . I am not an expert in the world of women but if there is anything I have learned it is that women feel a whole range of emotions and only show/tell a few (or none). I almost lost my identity and values. Cmon guys you know the drill. She has a comfortable home life but is in a constant state of conflict with her parents because of how she is treated.. Namely them trying to get her out on her own after graduating and trying to find a job. Now she stopped the medications for a month ago, and still no affection what so ever. I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. If, after years of treatment, she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to change. I feel for all of you guys! Ive dealt with people like that and let me tell you its never easy cuz there gonna try and bring you down.I mean I too have anxiety but not to the point where I freak out or go completely insane. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! But how is it possible? He started changing we had an argument one time and he cut all way from his wrist to his elbow, I couldnt leave him I had to ditch my mam to see if he was okay before he went to work. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. Trying to fix it on yours own either no optional. https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I have a battle on my hands, life has tried to tear me down before and I wont let it just yet..You choose to be happy, Woah that is one crazy situation both of you are dealing with. I am a fighter so that was my reaction. Youve shown your love for her and she knows that. v. 1. She had many great traits and was amazing in some areas of the relationship which made it hard to think about ending the relationship when I thought I was getting so much out of it. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost two years. Hi Greg, To pull something or someone from a higher to a lower position: She dragged down the boxes from the attic. Talk, really talk openly without any criticism. 3. Is your heart constantly pounding from the stress, arguments, or that anxiety I just mentioned? We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. and the thing with sex: if you are curious and want to understand: We have to get our sh#t together or be ok with being alone and broke or God forbid settle for the girl were all here talking about. Or sit down and plan something new to try. She just dont know how to do this. I tried hard to keep the relationship going, but I was alone in that battle. There is more to life than this, trust me. Girls love that kind of crap and its not gay or anything if you do something where you express your feelings. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. I can know no one would have got solution. Friends are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when something isn't right. (Yikes.). My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. Welcome to Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash . Me and my LDR girlfriend were originally together for 7 months, then took a break for 3, and now we are back together. I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. And probably you wonder why I use past tense when I write. 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